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Episode 5: Jed and Bed

Length: 12:50

Guests: Jed and Bed

Creepy Doll: The Full House Collection

Commercial: Toasty Toaster Collection's Model Mach 3

Funniness: 2 of 5

Crudity: The kind that makes you stupider to listen to.

Favorite Quotes:

-"Hell [profuse laughter]"

-"no, you're not back on the show, shut up and [mumble mumble]"

-"It's mmercial time, can you do me a favor Jon, whatever your name is?? Jan"

-"Hey, hey, Mr. Jan, you wanna spit, spit your juice out"

-"She a woman to you?"

-"No more hicks, I hate'm"

Another episode, another accidental first? It sounds as though Starlight Steve has reached a new low with the initial opening of my big mouth (as my first word in this episode is nothing less than "HELL!") ...I don't know how I achieved that slip of the lip, and yet it seemed to be a surprisingly accurate foreshadow of where this episode was going straight to?

So this episode has never been on my top ten list (even when it was first made and there were only 5 episodes). But somehow, it's like a child that you don't love as much as your other children, but it's still your flesh and blood so you have to love it some. I value it for being one of the few classic episodes to have the legendary Jon the Jonitor on the show. Actually this was the first episode to have five characters in the room at the same time, although 3 of them were played by Steve-- it was fun to watch Steve portray Starlight telling Sean Connery to escort Jed off the show as Jed pleads pathetically in the background, all the while Steve is somehow carrying on this 3-way conversation by himself. But it's just one of those hidden talents Steve has, and every time I listen to it, I still imagine 3 separate people interacting in the studio.

Listening to this episode, I realized that an apology needs to be made to my faithful comment-readers (so basically to no one) about a statement I made in my comment for "Slip Doggy Doo" when I said that it's not until Episode 11: "Frolicking Foofen," that we begin to actually fill our "commercial break" with an actual advertisement, and not just a "moment of silence." As it turns out, Ep. 11 is the point we finally acknowledged our need to divide and conquer otherwise unruly episodes, but as for this one, we apparently experienced a freak triumph (we should've continued to take advantage of the "commercial break," segment of the show, but instead chose to remain in the dark ages of "fake-radio" for another 6 episodes). It's ironic that this episode's premature-sophistication-breakthrough was probably provoked by the severely unsophisticated humor which motivated Steve to repeatedly attempt to segue to the perceived refuge of a commercial break. Seriously, he calls for a commercial break like 3 times in 10 minutes. Frankly I don't think he even realizes it, considering he clearly says It's "mmercial time" (whatever that means) not even 20 seconds after we just had our first "commercial break" (the typical "moment of silence"). Granted, nothing happens in response to this second commercial request (which I don't think he notices either) and the episode goes on, until the THIRD time he calls for a commercial break, at which point we have to actually consider, what if there WAS a commercial in the commercial break? And thus the Model Mach 3 Toasty Toaster was born!

Okay, so the episode's not ALL bad, it's just not that funny, unless you listen very closely, and want to laugh really badly. But then I think I'd recommend just tickling yourself, you'll save a lot of time and bad dreams, about southerners with holst--well, you know the rest.

Thanks for being our friend,

Back you go....
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